Valhalla Rising (2009)


Hello imaginary readers. It's been awhile since I posted in this blog. Have been busy. I got myself a job (because even movie reviewers need money to eat, they don't simply subsist on sarcasm and sass) and a lot of other stuff. Well let's get straight to the point. Fortunately in my hectic schedule I still found time to watch movies so here is my review of the movie 'Valhalla Rising' which came out in 2009. This movie was directed by Nicolas Winding Refn and features Mads Mikkelsen as the main character One Eye; a laconic Viking warrior who follows a group of Crusaders who are on their way to the Holy Land.

Well to be honest, I was expecting a typical Viking movie with the whole plunder and pillage and the works that usually come with with movies which include Vikings. But boy was I wrong. This movie is quite slow and pays equal importance to the dialogue. But when it happens, boy it is violence, glorious violence. You get disembowelment, decapitation, impaling, eye-gouging, you name it, it has it. Which sort of explains the need for the slow pacing. You're all bored and yawning for something to please happen already, and then the pace picks up in a crescendo and you know some guy is gonna get stabbed in the eye and you squirm in your seat, expecting the wonderfully dreadful. Oh boy!

But I have to admit that at times this movie escapes my comprehension. The dream sequences are huge wtf to me and it took me a while to realise a major plot point.

The GOOD:
1) The violence is sickening and unabashed in this movie
2) Mikkelsen did a solid job in portraying such an effectively ruthless character without speaking any line

The BAD:
1) I don't get the movie. What's with the rouge dream sequences?
2) The ending. So, uh, that's all there is?

Moi VERDICT: I'm giving it 6/10 because I simply DON'T GET IT.

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